Summer of 2 double ott 5

My daughter at Graduation! Congrats Beckaboo!
You can't imagine what it's like to be in a relationship where there are cards stacked against you from get-go. I couldn't either 5 years ago, now I am taking a new look at my thinking. Everyone has flaws. Mine I guess would be that I don't take anyone's verbal crap without giving back some in return. At times I can even be known to say hurtful things, I guess to inflict hurt on the person hurting me with their words. I know that what I say, I don't mean, but I blurt without checking the outcome first. This flaw is causing problems in my marriage, so the solution would be that I need to step back more, evaluate my options, and instead of blurting I should take a walk, drive, or whatever to avoid being "sucked in" to someone else's difficulty. As a step-parent, I am certain that there is no way I can run my own home. I don't have enough support from my partner on a consistent basis, and if I want to remain married to her, I have to learn that I am just a transcient here until the kids are all grown up and moved out....can't wait! Am I being selfish? Perhaps, but I know that I have been battling the same scenario since 2001, not only with a step child, but with my mother-in- law. And I feel done with the battle. I will lick my wounds and try me best to tough it out and survive. I will continue in my faith and attend church regularly even though I have no partner in that, and should not have expected one in it. I will go because God is the one who can help me to become what I cannot become on my own accord. I will love my wife until / unless love becomes "not enough".