Grandchildren

I miss my eldest granddaughter, and have never yet met my youngest one. They live over 1500 miles away. For security reasons I will not reveal their names. Their mother was from the love between my first wife and I. Her daughters are both miracles to her because of her condition that should have made it difficult to have children at all.

As far away as they are, they are both near to my heart, and I wonder if I will ever get to see them again. I also fear not being close to my dad when his final days are over. As he ages and has dementia, and as he may have his prostate cancer back, I am trying to move back closer to both my parents. To do that means giving up a job that I hate anyway, but more than that it means trying at the age of 50 to find another one that I can handle for the next 20 years. What I'd like is ownership in a business, but I have no experience in that realm.

Spring-Summer Transitions

There is a newness about every Spring, and a desire for Summer to quickly arrive. Since I am now 50 years old, I have come to realize that wishing time to go by quickly is foolish, and I spend more time now wishing I had it all back. The journey through life is difficult, but if it weren't for that difficulty where would the adventure of living be? I am so happy for all of my children who are just experiencing life in their own ways. I may not agree with their belief systems, but I respect their right to choose their path. After all, God did not force me to choose Him, I had to do that of my own free will. Free will is what God has given us.

I am in awe of the complexity life has become, and I believe the prophesies that say we are spinning out of control and that there is only ONE solution to the whole thing...Jesus Christ was and is that solution. Sadly, many will not choose that path, and I believe Hell is a real place, so I naturally would desire that my children come to know Jesus, and put aside other Worldly paths.

As I age, I am finding that my body is failing, that my center of gravity has changed, and that it is much harder to recoup ANYTHING damaged or fallen in my body. I will however say that more of me is surrendered to Jesus. I would also say that I am more content with where I am going, and assured of my final destination. Wanna come along?

I love you all: Chrissy, Jenny, Rebecca, Jessica, Kelli, Ashley, Mary, Denialle, Gabrialle, Mom, Dad, Scott, Regi, and Chyrl...may the Lord guide all of you to Himself and make Himself known to you.

My Easter Awareness

I get a great peace of mind whenever my children, all mostly grown up now, come to visit, or whenever I can go to visit them and they say or do something that causes me to be so very proud of them. You know, as you raise them, that there are always those questions in your mind that echo doubts about whether or not the lessons you taught them have sunk in, and if they are utilizing the skills you gave them. Then they find ways to show you that everything is all right.

I am proud of what they have achieved and what they are trying to achieve, for it is not in the success of it all that it matters much to me, but in the trying to succeed, and the fairness by which they play the game, and the integrity they show in the process.

I have two step daughters. One I am very proud of, and the other I still hold out hope that she'll catch on. Though I think the youngest one will have to endure many hardships before she sees that there is wisdom in what I tried to teach her. I haven't been the best step-dad. That remains the toughest job in our society today, I believe. I love them all, and I pray that God will get ahold of their hearts and minds and make them grow up to be loving, compassionate persons who think of others while not neglecting themselves.

This Sunday is Easter, the day we Christians who are truly Christians whose names are written in the Lamb's Book of Life, celebrate the greatest event, greatest gift God gave to all men. The gift of the resurrection of Jesus Christ, Who set in motion the events that His faithful will follow. I am in praise of His creation, something a random BANG could never have accomplished. I praise God for all He is and all He has provided for me and for all of my true brothers and sisters! Not the pew warmers, not the people who claim to be Christians then live for themselves, but for those Who have placed their entire trust in Jesus for their Salvation.

Kelli has trimmed, but not stopped her drinking entirely. Yet, for some stupid reason I hang on. Is it because I am tired of re-marrying, or because I am too lazy to make changes that maybe should be made? I truly do not know. I only know that if God wants her out of my life, He alone will make that happen. For, "What God has put together, let not man put apart." So, on I go.